Let's face the facts- I have a lot going on. It seems everyone these days forgets (or just doesn't really know) what it means to be a parent. Both Erick and I make a lot of effort to make sure Sofia has the best life, love and affection, and necessities she needs to grow up in a happy home. Both of us working full time jobs... on top of freelancing... on top of previously mentioned 3 month old... it adds up to be one big neverending whirlwind we call "life" now.
Our week is compiled with me waking up at 6:00AM every morning, changing the baby, feeding the baby, barely making the time crunch to get ready for work, sitting in rush hour traffic, working an 8 to 9 hour day, sitting in rush hour traffic AGAIN, maybe squeezing in a few miles of a run (if I'm lucky), make dinner or find another option, feed baby, change baby, play with baby, take a bath, swaddle her up and put her to bed, work on freelance projects until my eyes droop over, sleep, then repeat FOR THE NEXT FIVE DAYS. I have a total of maybe 3 hours a night where I'm actually up after I get home from work to be able to spend with my family and then it's back to sleep to start it all over.
Needless to say, our weekends now as adults are a constant game of catch-up. Fun and going out (for whatever reason) is nearly non-existant. Hell, we're even lucky if we have beer in the house to drink at home! I guess is what I'm trying to say is that I'm no supermom. I tried to do it all, and I failed. But I do what I can. And I'm sure I take on a lot more than most people. Regardless of how hard I try, things will always be sacrificed, dishes will always be in the sink, laundry will always be a few days late, and certain projects I had going will be put on pause so I can spend time with the people that I love.
I will always have morning hair.
There will always be those thoughts of if I'm a good enough mom, a good enough wife, a good enough friend. I'll wonder if I'm always going to work in retail or if I'll have the time to establish myself as a creative professional. One thing is for sure- I'll always have to say "no" to certain events and parties, I'll always forget to do something I was supposed to do, and I'll always miss out on certain opportunities in order to make a life and a living for the people I call my family. The people who will have my heart for the rest of my life. There are countless, absolutely breathless moments that I receive as gifts of my labor. You can't put a price on something like that.
^^ Especially the moments I spend watching my daughter dream. I hope she dreams happy thoughts. Memories of this crazy, beautiful life we've made. She is my everything.
Kate, that had to have been the most beautiful expression I've ever heard you say... there's a glimmer of hope behind every confession of weakness and imperfection because in being real about who you are and what you can do, you cut yourself a break when you should, you push when you have to and you get the MOST out of life! Thank God you don't havta be supermom to make you baby happy. Sophia loves you regardless, there's that inherent sense that you are always with her inside your heart. And your husband can hear it in your heartbeat... see it in the quiver of your broken smile or twitch of a tired eye... he knows you're doing all you can... and I just know he loves every ounce of you for it. I can't speak for all your friends, but I'd like to say that I admire you and am always always there for you if you think I can be of any help... anytime. That's what friends are for! To support... never to judge or expect more than you can give! Enjoy the rest of your day off and may you have strength to make it through yet another week!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE your approach! I'm right with you on the morning hair, yet i raise you with permanently unwashed morning hair. It's okay- grunge was cool in the 90's and it WILL return.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful beautiful place you have here lady. I just need to figure out how to follow!
xo em
I LOVE your approach! I'm right with you on the morning hair, yet i raise you with permanently unwashed morning hair. It's okay- grunge was cool in the 90's and it WILL return.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful beautiful place you have here lady. I just need to figure out how to follow!
xo em
ooh i posted it twice. oops. How do i follow? I can't find it.
ReplyDeletexo
Thanks everyone!! :D love you guys.
ReplyDelete@em idk what happened to my little widget on the side, I'll try and fix it tomorrow! Thanks for reading, i can't wait to stop by your blog! Xo
Kate, take it from this old battleax of a mother, you can't nor should you do it all. Your baby will not recall the dishes in your sink, she will remember all of the time and
ReplyDeletetenderness, all the smiles, all the love. So proud of you!