I've been reading a lot of birth stories lately, and for anyone that has had the chance to read ours, knows that it was anything but what Erick and I had planned for. As great as it was, there were still some things that had initially bugged me. But, as most new moms can tell you, sometimes it takes a while for feelings like these to surface. I know that after I gave birth to Sofia, I found that I had ran on this "natural baby high" for a few months; it was only after re-reading other friends' stories, that had sparked these newly surfacing feelings of things I wish I had done differently.
As I think ahead, I know that I want more children in the future. The thought honestly scares me a bit because for the past hour I've been sitting here slowly realizing that I still need to make peace with birth before I ever even think about having another baby. I need to make peace with the fact that it's not the end of the world if you have to get an epidural. A lot of what happened during Sofia's birth just totally through me for a loop and honestly, it was pretty petrifying at first. I wasn't expecting to give birth that day. I wasn't expecting to be induced. Well, the great thing about it is that I know now. I really have to learn to make peace with birth and the glorious process that it is. It will definitely take some time, but I know I can find comfort in the fact I will be ready and willing to expect... the unexpected.
Don't clutch so desperately onto some "plan" of action. Breathe a little deeper. Trust those around you. Pray a little more often, and honestly let it all go.
Just wanted to let you know that I loved reading this post, and thanks for sharing. I completely understand what your feeling. My daughter Chloe was born in June, i was supposed to have a natural birth with my midwives at a birthcenter. I ended up needing to be induced at 41 weeks and 3 days and had to labor and deliver at the hospital, then after being stuck at 8 cm for over 2 hours I gave in and got an epidural, a few hours later and some rest I was still an 8 and my daughter hadn't dropped at all. I ended up getting a c-section. I was pretty devastated that the birth I wanted for my daughter didn't happen, it took awhile to really heal from that. I feel better now about it but of course I still wish Chloe's birth would have gone as planned. I found you on Top baby blogs by the way. i'm on there too, My Family of Three!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for stopping in, I'm brand new to Top Baby Blogs but I'm so glad I signed up so I can meet other mamas going through the same thing!! I'll make sure to sing by your blog today, too!! :)
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