I was always wondering what would happen the first time Erick and I would make decisions about things in our married life. How would that go? Especially because we've only been married for three months. And also because we were a married 'couple' for five days before we became a married 'threesome'. But mainly because I am terrible, and I mean terrible at decision-making.
If you ever were to ask Erick what I wanted for dinner or where I wanted to go this weekend he would tell you, most certainly, that I, "don't know, what do you think?". Be honest. Is that not an annoying habit or what? I really wish I was that type of person that stands firm in their desires and says 'yes! this is what i want to do.' But I'm really not, and it embarrasses me sometimes. I'm still learning to stop caring what everyone else in the world wants to do, I should at least have the nerve to voice my opinion...
Anyway- after an (absolutely lovely and adorable) three year old family member's birthday party today, I was faced with what I consider to be the first big decision I make on behalf of my family. Erick couldn't even go to this party due to work, so I was spending the day with Sofia and my mom, dad, and sisters. When we all went to leave, my parents wanted to take Sofia home with them for a night. You know, give us a break. Let us go out. Let us get some (uninterrupted) sleep. Sounds nice, right? Well, given my baby is only six weeks old and my already anxiety ridden nature, I was a little uneasy to say the least. Babysitting? That's one thing. I'm not that neurotic. But overnight stays are a different story, and I wasn't sure I, let alone Erick were ready for that. We didn't even talk about it!
So I texted him at work and tried to give him a call, but I wasn't really getting the opportunity to discuss anything with him because of how busy it was at the store. I sat at a gas station debating back and forth what I should do, and decided ultimately, it was our child. I shouldn't just send her home with grandma and grandpa when we weren't ready, hadn't discussed it, weren't prepared... etc. How would I have felt if I was in that situation? I guess it might seem trivial to some of you that this was such a big deal to me, but I felt proud of myself. It's so different thinking about an entity that isn't just yourself. I care for two other beings completely and utterly as if they are apart of me. Well, really... they kind of are.
Visits with grandma and grandpa will come, soon enough no doubt. But for now, Erick and I are enjoying our first big family decision, as small as it may be, with a passed-out-baby with a full tummy and mom and dad drinking (fittingly) a glass of Sofia Riesling on the couch together before bed. This is our time. Our together time. Small, powerful, and something I am grateful for and thank God for every day.
If you ever were to ask Erick what I wanted for dinner or where I wanted to go this weekend he would tell you, most certainly, that I, "don't know, what do you think?". Be honest. Is that not an annoying habit or what? I really wish I was that type of person that stands firm in their desires and says 'yes! this is what i want to do.' But I'm really not, and it embarrasses me sometimes. I'm still learning to stop caring what everyone else in the world wants to do, I should at least have the nerve to voice my opinion...
Anyway- after an (absolutely lovely and adorable) three year old family member's birthday party today, I was faced with what I consider to be the first big decision I make on behalf of my family. Erick couldn't even go to this party due to work, so I was spending the day with Sofia and my mom, dad, and sisters. When we all went to leave, my parents wanted to take Sofia home with them for a night. You know, give us a break. Let us go out. Let us get some (uninterrupted) sleep. Sounds nice, right? Well, given my baby is only six weeks old and my already anxiety ridden nature, I was a little uneasy to say the least. Babysitting? That's one thing. I'm not that neurotic. But overnight stays are a different story, and I wasn't sure I, let alone Erick were ready for that. We didn't even talk about it!
So I texted him at work and tried to give him a call, but I wasn't really getting the opportunity to discuss anything with him because of how busy it was at the store. I sat at a gas station debating back and forth what I should do, and decided ultimately, it was our child. I shouldn't just send her home with grandma and grandpa when we weren't ready, hadn't discussed it, weren't prepared... etc. How would I have felt if I was in that situation? I guess it might seem trivial to some of you that this was such a big deal to me, but I felt proud of myself. It's so different thinking about an entity that isn't just yourself. I care for two other beings completely and utterly as if they are apart of me. Well, really... they kind of are.
Visits with grandma and grandpa will come, soon enough no doubt. But for now, Erick and I are enjoying our first big family decision, as small as it may be, with a passed-out-baby with a full tummy and mom and dad drinking (fittingly) a glass of Sofia Riesling on the couch together before bed. This is our time. Our together time. Small, powerful, and something I am grateful for and thank God for every day.
I do the exact same thing when it comes to dinner -- "I don't know, what do you feel like?" Chris and I actually had a large-ish argument about it yesterday because I can be so passive/indecisive about things.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE this little snippet: "It's so different thinking about an entity that isn't just yourself. I care for two other beings completely and utterly as if they are apart of me. Well, really... they kind of are."
Seriously. Words of wisdom. I need to think that way about my husband more... the fact that he's a part of me. It's so true but in the mist of the cooking, cleaning, and other "grown up" things I can forget that.
Now that I've written you a small book... great thought-provoking post :) And
My tip is to stay at your parents for a night or 2 and let them do all the work overnight. Just let them bring her to you to nurse then they take her back change her rock her etc. Also think about taking one feeding off. I think I finally did that at about 6 weeks pp. I stayed at dads and Natalie and Jenna took the babe overnight. Now Natalie tries to come up to do that at least once every other week. This week I got 2 nights of help as we transitioned him to his crib. I know how hard it is the struggle from exhaustion of the one thing you really want to be! Wish there were 2 of me. One on a charger all night and one with babe all rests and happy!
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